I have to admit, I'm not always the most polite or thoughtful person, but I'd like to be. In our contemporary, "me" world, most people's number one concern is still childhood obesity, and the terror that technology is enabling our population's desire for instant gratification. I guess I worry about those things too, but more than that, I'm worried what happened to our manners. Bottom line, people aren't very nice to each other anymore.
I was pulled into a tandem parking spot the other day. I had let my fiance out to mail a package at the UPS store. I sat in my car waiting for him, and I figured if the guy who was parked in front of me arrived, I would simply move my car to let him out. I would never dream of just ditching my ride and blocking him into the spot. Why would I even want to do that?
After a few minutes, the owner of the car does indeed show up. As he heads for his car door, I began preparing to move my car. Before he even gets in, I am shocked to hear him start yelling at me! "You have to move!" he starts shouting, over and over again. I didn't even know what to do! I talked to him through my window, "I know, I know, I'm moving." It becomes even more belligerent, "YOU NEED TO MOVE!" I continue to respond, "Okay, okay, I'm moving!"
Did he assume that he would get in his car, and I would just continue to sit there? I figure in that kind of situation he might just indicate to his vehicle, so I would know he'd be pulling out. Or maybe he would have said kindly, "I'm leaving." Seriously, I'm not here to make any one's day difficult, that's for sure. If anything, I like to be helpful! Does he assume the worst of me because I'm young? Or because I'm a woman? All I know is... My feelings were hurt. I was sad that a complete and total stranger assumed I was going to act like a jerk. So with a preemptive strike, he decided to be a jerk FIRST!
These are the moments I just want to go back to a time where a man in the same situation would say something like, "Excuse me miss, would you mind moving your car, I have an important meeting I'm headed to." To which I would have responded, "Certainly sir, have a lovely day." We both would have felt better, perhaps even enjoyed the encounter, and both parties would have their needs met.
THIS WEEK'S CHALLENGE: Don't assume people are going to inconvenience you. Pretend it's 1950 all over again. With kindness and a smile, just ask people for what you need. I have a feeling, that with a spoonful of sugar, everyone will feel a lot better about themselves, each other and society post millennium.
I think the worst part about what happened to you is that people come to expect the worse, and as you said, just decide to be a jerk because he assumed you were already before even waiting to see if you were or not.
ReplyDeleteEven if we do think a person "might" be a jerk...we should always give a chance because we should want to be proven wrong.
Well lets face it men are not taught to be gentlemen as they used to be taught, which is perhaps why women feel compelled to be bitches. having a son and daughter of my own, I once heard someone say you want your son to be polite and thoughtful but you want your daughter to be ungrateful, and in all honesty, men really do like bitches!
ReplyDeleteThere used to be a rule of thumb that people in front of you are more important than any phone conversation..and these days you have people turning their backs to those in front of them to have their cell phone glued to their ear.
What I liked most about what you said is about people being so concerned about "childhood obesity." And it appears to me as if the people that fight these causes are more concerned with the sound of their own voice than they really are about the issues at hand! Only in America are some people anorexic and others eating outta dumpsters..both starving to death!
"You win a laptop and a kid in africa gets one, too!" Seriously?! Charity starts at home! There are uneducated, deprived, homeless children here in America!
People can't see the forest for the trees anymore. They are too busy being busy for their own selfish purposes to realize what's really important.
The man must not have grandkids he watches Nick Jr. with to know what a sweet girl you really are. But, ya, It's a me, me, me society. In what, 30yrs. we went from Time magazien which coverd everything and everyone to Self magazien. I think that says it all right there.
ReplyDeleteNext time you should yell out watch the Ellen show because at the end of every show she says "Be kind to one another". At my work they say red box. Red box means you are out of line please stop. We say it and everyone makes a joke about it and they ,most of the time stop. So next time yell red box. You will get a laugh about it cause, they will look at you funny because they wont know what it means.
ReplyDelete